Feels

The same as I have for fucking months, like nothing really gives me any pleasure, I feel ill, and just don't see why I should do much of anything.

I feel like I fucked up a while ago, I lied my way out of a mental ward after a suicide attempt a few days ago, and now I feel even worse than I did when I tried then, odds are I'll probably try again, in a more certain way in the next few weeks.